There have been times of great anxiety when I did surrender control—when I stopped worrying and handed everything over to God. When I have done that, I have found a profound sense of peace, a peace that I long to experience again. However, I struggle to reach that state consistently, which frustrates me because I know it is there, waiting for me. Yet, I fail to grasp it.

The Difficulty of Surrendering Control

The Lord’s Prayer, a cornerstone of the Christian faith, includes the profound line, "God’s will be done on Earth," which calls believers to surrender their desires in favor of a higher divine purpose. This act of surrender presents significant challenges, both spiritual and psychological, as it requires relinquishing control—something that many find inherently difficult.

I am naturally inclined to seek control over my life and environment. All humans are; it helps us survive. Those of us who are wired this way are more likely to pass on this trait. A need for security, predictability, and autonomy drives this desire for control. Surrendering to God’s will, therefore, is not merely a spiritual exercise but a profound psychological shift. It involves trusting in a higher power—often without tangible evidence—and accepting that things may not unfold according to our plans. I think it is highly like that our plans will be replaced by His plans. "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps” (Proverbs 16:9) 

Surrendering control means facing the unknown. When we give up our own will, we step into uncertainty, which can be deeply unsettling. This fear is compounded by society’s emphasis on self-determination and the belief that we are the architects of our own destiny. To surrender in this context feels counterintuitive and can be seen as a form of passivity or weakness.

Another challenge is relinquishing personal desires and ambitions. Our goals and dreams are often tied to our sense of identity and purpose. Surrendering them in favor of God’s will can feel like losing a part of ourselves, leading to resistance and inner conflict. This struggle is particularly pronounced in a culture that values individual achievement and personal fulfillment.

Self-Deception in the Process of Surrender

In the quest to align with God’s will, it is easy to deceive ourselves into believing that we have truly surrendered when we have merely rebranded our desires as divine guidance. This self-deception can take various forms, such as selective obedience—where we follow God's will only when it aligns with our own preferences—or rationalizing our decisions as divinely inspired, even when they primarily serve our interests.

One common way we fool ourselves is through confirmation bias, the tendency to interpret new evidence as confirmation of our existing beliefs and desires. When we desperately want a particular outcome, we may selectively interpret signs and experiences as divine endorsements of our will. This can lead to a false sense of surrender, where we believe we are following God’s will but are, in fact, still in control.

Another form of self-deception is spiritual bypassing, where we use spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid facing unresolved emotional issues or psychological conflicts. By convincing ourselves that we are surrendering to God’s will, we may be avoiding the difficult inner work of confronting our fears, insecurities, and attachments. This superficial surrender does not lead to genuine transformation but rather perpetuates our underlying struggles.

Pathways to Genuine Surrender

Genuine surrender requires a deep and ongoing process of self-reflection and spiritual practice. It involves cultivating humility, patience, and an openness to the mystery of divine will. Though I try hard, I am not good at humility. Like most things, I am good at it when I think about it. Those little things we do when we are not thinking about it, I think, can tell us who we really are.  One effective approach is to engage in regular prayer and meditation, seeking to quiet the mind and attune to the subtle guidance of the Spirit. This practice helps develop a sense of trust and receptivity, allowing us to gradually loosen our grip on control.

Another important aspect is community support. Engaging with a faith community provides accountability, encouragement, and a shared space for exploring the challenges of surrender. Within a supportive community, we can share our struggles and receive guidance from others who are also on the path of faith. I don't really have a faith community. Since I am in a country where I do not speak the language, I find it hard to be part of such a community. If I go to church, I don't know what is being said. 

Finally, embracing the process of discernment is crucial. Discernment involves a careful and prayerful consideration of our thoughts, feelings, and actions, seeking to distinguish between our own desires and the genuine movement of the Spirit. This practice helps cultivate a deeper awareness of the ways in which we might be fooling ourselves and allows for a more authentic alignment with God’s will.

Conclusion

The call to surrender to God’s will is a profound and challenging aspect of the Christian faith. It requires a willingness to relinquish control, face our fears, and engage in ongoing self-reflection and spiritual practice. By recognizing the difficulties and potential for self-deception, we can move toward a more genuine and transformative surrender, allowing God’s will to be truly done on Earth, as it is in Heaven.

I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes:  "Drink deep or taste not the Pierian spring" from Alexander Pope's poem "An Essay on Criticism,"  If you don't see this struggle within your own life, you may want to look deeper. I wonder if I know myself at all if I am who I think I am. God only knows.